Fast & Furious 9: The Fast Saga
Director - Justin Lin
Cast - Vin Diesel, Michelle Rodriguez, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese Gibson, Ludacris, John Cena, Sung Kang, Nathalie Emmanuel
Originally planned for May last year, Fast and Furious 9 (formerly known as F9) is out now. Back in the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic F9 was one of the first blockbusters to bump its release date, and now lands just as theaters reopen in the US and UK. That means F9 isn't streaming on HBO Max or any other streaming service, so obviously you should follow local guidelines and attend any venue only if you feel safe and comfortable. It's only a movie. But however and whenever you see Fast and Furious 9, rest assured that what you're going to see is a movie. Like, possibly the movie-est movie that ever movied.
The film opens with a flashback. Dom and the previously never mentioned brother Jakob are seeing off their father Jack Toretto (J. D. Pardo) in a race. A rival’s car hits Jack’s car, which explodes after striking a wall. Post the incident, Dom is imprisoned after nearly beating the said rival to death.
Cut to the present. After the events of The Fate of the Furious, Dom has retired and settled into a quiet life with wife Letty Ortiz (Michelle Rodriguez) and son Brian. He is brought back to the life of… whatever he used to do by the extended members of the famous ‘family’. Apparently his long-lost brother is involved in a plot concerning a device with which wicked elements of the society can control the world. It hacks into things or some such. The reason Jakob went evil? His elder brother was mean to him.
Characters spout platitudes like “No matter how fast you are, no one outruns their past” with a straight face. It is highly likely that the dialogues you hear in this movie have already been ridiculed in viral memes.
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Acting is pretty bad too. A bad script could have been saved to an extent by a good lead actor. Vin Diesel is not by any stretch of imagination a good actor. His attempts to emote and look threatening are equally comical. John Cena, who was superb in James Gunn’s recent The Suicide Squad, is made to play a villain so generic that it is out of place even in a Fast and Furious movie.
What about the stunts? Well, they are very much there. One sequence has Tej and Roman sitting in a car fitted with rocket engine and propellers to launch it into the orbit in order to destroy a satellite.
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Look, Fast and Furious 9 may be a legit terrible film, with its sprawling cast, predictable soap opera twists and endless computer-enhanced nonsense violence. But damn, it's a good time at the movies. Fast! Furious! Family! Vroooommm!